(Chorus)
Hey, Jake, what’ll it take
To get you to settle down?
You’ve been the world over
Now we want you back in town
We hear you’ve got some stores
We expect they will astound
Hey, Jake, what’ll it take
To get you to settle down?

(Pap)
If you would please your mother
If you would please your paw
You’d do yer best to give it a rest
And come back to Arkansas
You’ll find yourself a sweetheart
And with a little luck, we’ll be
Picking names for grandkids
How ’bout Vera, Dave, and Chuck?

(Lauren)
If you would please your sister
And give me some peace of mind
I’ll promise you, adventures, too
If only the backyard kind
You can still be the strongman
And I on the flying trapeze
But we might have to start
To give my kids a part
Or I think that will displease

(Leah)
If you would please your sister
And if it would please you too
We’ll sell the car and buy a bar
And take on the Northside crew
You’ll tell the jokes and keep order
I’ll sing and manage the brew
Then Poppy and Rhyse will bring us more ice
On Friday after school

(Nicholas)
If you would please your brother
A chore in itself I know
But labor is cheap where blood runs deep
And I got a few projects at home
A stone wall I mean to be moving
A cellar I mean to be clear
Bedroom renovating and general painting
Did I mention I’ll pay you in beer?

(Visitor)
If you would please this singer
You’ll throw what you need in a pack
Procure a pass and haul your ass
To get on the first flight back
We’ll throw you the biggest party
Anybody’s ever seen
From Kandahar to Bakerstown
Or anywhere in between

©2012 Mark Hohman, Lauren Klemm, Leah Hohman-Esser, Nicholas Hohman